Balancing tradition while planning a wedding can be a delicate process, especially when there are cultural, familial, or personal expectations involved. With culture and heritage an integral aspect in Hong Kong celebrations, many parents still value having these in weddings. The tension arises when modern couples prefer a more contemporary route when it comes to celebrating their special union.
Does this scenario seem all too familiar? Do you feel pressured to keep all the Chinese wedding traditions despite desiring a simpler, modern union or a more Western-like wedding format?
You can always try to meet halfway with your parents and relatives. You’ll just need to carefully lay down your wishes and find ways to marry these with that of your family. How, you might ask? Here are some tips to help manage the challenge of balancing tradition when planning your wedding.
Open Communication
Start by having open and honest conversations with your partner about your cultural backgrounds, family expectations, and individual preferences. Clearly express your values and priorities for the wedding day. Keep the openness throughout the planning process as things may still change. What’s vital is that you both know what each one wants from the beginning.
[From: A Charming Teal Outdoor Garden Wedding at One-Thirtyone / Photos: The Hour Gallery]
Prioritize Key Traditions
Identify the most important traditions to you and your partner. Prioritize traditions that resonate with both of you. Focus on incorporating those that hold significant meaning rather than trying to include every tradition. It’s important to start with your and your partner’s must-haves first. After this, you can open up the conversation with your parents to find out their preferences.
Customize Traditions
How can you keep the modern and personalized twist at your wedding while adhering to some of the requests the parents? You may customize your wedding format, or which activities or ceremonies to include, and how to execute them, based on the traditions your parents openly expressed they would like–this is where you try to meet halfway. Adapt traditional elements to fit your unique style and preferences. Modify rituals, ceremonies, or attire to reflect a modern or personalized twist while still respecting the essence of the tradition.
[From: A Traditional Chinese Wedding with Classic Details At Rosewood Hong Kong / Photos: KC Chan Photography]
Educate and Involve Family
You can avoid conflict and keep the balance by educating and involving loved ones through your decision-making process. If there are specific traditions that are important to your families, take the time to educate them on your vision for the wedding. Involve family members in the planning process and find ways to incorporate their input while staying true to your vision.
Establish Clear Boundaries
Aside from educating and involving your family about your wedding wishes, you’ll also need to draw the line to establish your priorities. Set clear boundaries with family members and communicate your decisions respectfully but firmly. Help family members understand that while you appreciate their input, certain aspects of the wedding are non-negotiable. There might be some resistance at first but if you remain steadfast and continue to educate and communicate, your family will eventually understand.
[From: An Elegant Hotel Wedding With Modern and Minimalist Details / Photos: While Label Wedding Photo]
Thoughtfully Incorporate Cultural and Traditional Elements
One way to can meet your parents halfway is by including subtle nods to your cultural heritage in the decor, attire, or cuisine. This way, you can still showcase cultural elements in a way that feels authentic and meaningful. You don’t need to go all out on traditions if it’s really something you prefer not to do. As a workaround, think of thoughtful and intentional ways to respect and uphold tradition through the details of the day.
Seek Guidance from Experts
Consult with wedding planners or cultural experts who can provide advice on how to tastefully incorporate traditions without feeling overwhelmed. Experts with many weddings under their belt and with experience with multicultural weddings can offer valuable insights on how you can merge your ideas and preferences with your traditions.
[From: A Stylish and Modern Hotel Wedding at JW Marriott Hong Kong / Photos: Otter Ten Studio]
Stay True to Your Vision
Remember that it’s your wedding day, and the most important thing is that it reflects you and your partner. Be flexible but assertive in maintaining the elements that are most meaningful to you both.
Balancing tradition requires thoughtful planning, compromise, and a clear vision of what elements are essential to your wedding day. With open communication and a respectful approach, you can create a wedding that honors tradition while still being a true reflection of your unique love story.
