18 Things You Should NOT Do During Your Chinese Wedding

There are many rules for Chinese weddings, do you know all of them? Because there are many details that go into Chinese weddings, engaging a Chinese wedding master is usually a big help to make sure you do everything right. But being aware of the important details will also do you a lot of good–you don’t want to make any mistakes for this very important milestone in life! To help you out, here are a list of don’ts you can easily keep in mind. For the more detailed rules, let your family and wedding master guide you. In the meantime, get these in your head now.


(1) Don’t get married during ghost month in the lunar calendar or during the half moon month.

When choosing your wedding date, it’s a must to avoid July, a.k.a. ghost month. You also must not get married in June, which is the half moon month. Getting married during this month means that you will an incomplete marriage.

[From: This Traditional Wedding is Filled with Elegant Details and Sweet Moments / Photo: Feel in the Blank]


(2) Do not join the Betrothal Ceremony and do not say good-bye to your relatives afterwards.

You and your groom must not join the Betrothal Ceremony. You may only come out afterwards, when it’s done, to take photos. You both should not bid your relatives farewell either, as this means you will get married again.

(3) Do not eat pastries during the Betrothal Ceremony.

You, the bride, must not eat pastries as well during the ceremony because the pastries represent your luck. Eating them means you will lose your own luck.


[From: This Couple Chose to Have An Extra Fun Non-traditional Wedding at Ammo / Photo: Kel Li Art Gallery]


(4) Do not use paper fans during the Betrothal Ceremony.

Using paper fans during the Betrothal Ceremony is a no no! It means that the couple will break up–and no one wants that, for sure! So if in case the weather is hot, use electric fans instead.

(5) Don’t let the groom sleep alone the night before the wedding.

After the Matrimonial Bed Ceremony, the groom must not sleep on the new bed alone until the night of the wedding. It’s ideal that he finds a young boy that belongs to the rat, dragon, or tiger sign to accompany him. The bed must also be in the correct position. It must not be hitting other tables, cabinets or any sharp objects or else this will lead to more arguments between the couple.


[From: This Traditional Wedding is Filled with Elegant Details and Sweet Moments / Photo: Feel in the Blank]


(6) Don’t cry upon arriving at the groom’s home.

The time when the groom comes to pick you up is usually an emotional one. Brides tend to shed happy, sentimental tears. This is actually a good omen as shedding tears is synonymous to leaving water with the bride’s family bringing them all good luck. However, upon arriving at the groom’s place, don’t cry! Crying at the groom’s house is bad luck. So, clear those eyes and emotions beforehand.

(7) Don’t let parents watch your arrival.

The groom’s parents can’t watch the couple’s arrival as well or else the couple will find themselves arguing a lot, according to tradition. The parents of the groom may stay inside and come out once everyone is settled. Also don’t let aunties come close because the word “姑嫂” sounds like lonely and broom which are bad luck for the newly-weds.

(8) Don’t let anyone come into the new couple room.

The matrimonial bed is very crucial as customs related to it heavily set the tone of the new couple’s life together. Therefore you must be very careful with the people who touch or even come close to the new bed. Pregnant women or people who have recently been involved in funeral should avoid the new bed and must not touch anything in the new couple room.


[From: The Afternoon Sun Wrapped This Beautiful Garden Wedding in a Dreamy Glow / Photo: TruEcolor Gallery]


(9) As much as possible, don’t cross paths with other couples or brides.

When transferring from the bride’s house to the groom’s house, avoid coming across other couples. Again, this is bad luck. But if in any case you by chance do, you need to burn a firecracker or the Chinese masters will need to exchange flowers.

(10) Don’t touch the bed until bed time.

Do not touch the new bed on the wedding day until bed time, or else you will be sick and always be in bed.

(11) Do not wear old shoes during your wedding or dress with pockets.

You also must not wear old shoes on the wedding day because this shows disrespect to the groom. All shoes should be brand new–wedding shoes, qua shoes, evening gown shoes. Do not wear dresses with pockets either. Having pockets means you will be taking away the parents’ money.


[From: The Afternoon Sun Wrapped This Beautiful Garden Wedding in a Dreamy Glow / Photo: TruEcolor Gallery]


(12) Don’t forget to pass on clothes if you get married ahead of older siblings.

If in case you get married ahead of an older brother and sister, you need to pass on pants to the older brother, and a dress to the older sister as a sign of respect and apology. Your older siblings also should not see you arrive or leave to keep your good luck intact.

(13) Don’t invite people who have tiger Chinese zodiac signs.

If you’re really particular, you can omit people with tiger Chinese zodiac signs from your wedding guest list. Because tigers bite, having people of this sign at your wedding can lead to a bad relationship for the couple, or difficulty in having a baby.


[From: This Traditional Church Wedding is Full of Laughter and Love / Photo: Sophia Kwan]


(14) Don’t forget to bring gifts when you go back to the bride’s family’s home.

On the 3rd day after the wedding, don’t forget to should bring gifts to the bride’s home. This shows that the bride has had a good marriage thus far. It also show gratitude to bride’s family.

(15) Don’t bring a roast baby pig that’s already cut in pieces when you go back to the bride’s home.

For the Pig Cutting Ceremony, you will need a full roast baby pig, not one cut into pieces already. The pig needs to be cut from head to toe during the ceremony to symbolize that you and your husband will grow old together.


[From: This Couple Shows Playfulness in Their Traditional Wedding with Hints of Modern Vibe / Photo: Martin Aesthetics]


(16) Do not stay after sunset at the bride’s home.

You and your husband must leave the bride’s home before sunset; you should not stay over. But, if in case this can’t be avoided, sleep in separate rooms to avoid bad luck.

(17) Don’t sleep over outside or participate in any other ceremonies for 4 months.

To keep your good luck, make sure you don’t sleep over in other places or participate in any other weddings or funerals up to 4 months after your own wedding. You also should not lend the new room mirror in your new room to anyone. Make sure to cover the mirror with red paper and then take it down after 4 months.


[From: This Traditional Church Wedding is Full of Laughter and Love / Photo: Sophia Kwan]


(18) Don’t ever wear your qun gua a second time.

If this is your second marriage, don’t wear your qun gua again or any red outfit. The qun gua is only meant to be worn once, during your first marriage. You can wear pink, orange, gold, or silver. You also don’t need to do the Hair Combing Ceremony again, nor need to bring a baby pig back home on the third day.


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